In celebration of Valentines Day we here at Let’s Watch Star Trek are doing a quick run-through of the one-episode romances that have occurred during the first three seasons of each series. It isn’t comprehensive, ’cause that would get a little boring, but we tried to include the most notable relationships.
Stay tuned: tomorrow we’ll rank all the major Star Trek relationships!
In “The Man Trap,” Bones visits an old love. She ends up looking like the above, so there isn’t much in the way of smooching.
In “The Naked Now” Yar and Data get drunk and have sex. The scene is actually even more awkward than it sounds. Yar talks about her tragic upbringing and escaping rape gangs, but also the scene is kind of played for laughs…
Charlie X: “You smell like a girl”
In “Unexpected” Trip puts his hands in some rocks with a lady and he gets pregnant.
Arranged marriages are always romantic, right? (“Haven”)
In “What are Little Girls Made of?” There is some kind of kissing-robot. I don’t understand most of the things that she does. Also, it’s creepy to make a robot like this.
In “Ex Post Facto” Paris gets involved with another man’s wife.
In “Miri” Kirk leads on a teenager so she will help him.
In “Civilization” Archer has a relationship. Their first kiss was actually just Archer stalling, while he fixed the universal translator.
In “Code of Honor” Yar gets kidnapped by a total psycho and forced to fight to the death. Somehow Yar has the hots for this guy and only rejects him in the end because “there would be complications”
In “Prime Factors” Janeway gets a little flirty with this weirdo, even though she’s engaged. Harry also finds a love interest, which is only strange because we’re meant to believe that someone likes Harry.
In “The Conscience of the King” Kirk has a little thing with a 19 year old murderer.
In “Angel One” Riker goes on a diplomatic away mission and acts totally professional the whole time.
Riker: “Good job boys, but computer, blondes and jazz seldom go together.” I don’t know what that is supposed to mean, but in “11001001” they get an upgrade to the holodeck so Riker can have better women to holoflirt with.
In “Court Martial” a past love is the prosecutor against Kirk. She needlessly tries to defame his character when all along she had video evidence that would have won for her side. But I guess they still like each other.
In “Space Seed”, Khan and McGyvers have a relationship, although I’m not sure why they still like each other by the end. McGyvers betrayed Khan, and Khan is, ya know, a brutal dictator, which I guess is McGyvers’ type.
In “This Side of Paradise” Spock reconnects with someone he used to know, and some spores make him fall in love with her.
In “Loud as a Whisper” a deaf guy flirts with Troi through his interpreter.
In “City on the Edge of Forever” Kirk falls in love with Joan Collins. It’s a great episode, but don’t watch it if you’re looking for a romantic ending.
In “Amok Time” Spock is arranged to marry T’Pring, but she makes him fight Kirk to the death because she wants to marry someone else.
In “Who Mourns for Adonais” Apollo gives us lessons on how to get a girl. You have to start with a good pick up line. Apollo: “You seem wise for a woman.”
In “Metamorphosis” Zefram Cochran is in love with a sparkly blob, but it wasn’t working out, so the blob takes over a woman’s body who seemed mostly unwilling.
In “The Measure of a Man” Picard reunites with a past love. “You know, I never thought I would say this, but it’s good to see you again. It brings a sense of order and stability to my universe to know that you’re still a pompous ass…and a damn sexy man.”
In “Second Sight” Sisko gets involved with another man’s wife’s telepathic psycho-projection.
In “The Dauphin” Wesley dates a girl, but she turns out to be a monster. I’m glad this one didn’t work out. I think the monster could do much better.
In “The Gamesters of Triskelion” Kirk teaches a lady the meaning of love and freedom, and then leaves her crying on her planet.
In “Precious Cargo” they do that thing where two people are fighting and then suddenly make-out.
In “The Emissary” one of Worf’s old girlfriends shows up. They mostly yell at each other.
In “Lifesigns” The Doctor falls in love with a hologram of someone who has the phage. In the end he still loves her even though she has been deformed from the phage. Awww. Okay, I guess this one is romantic.
In “By Any Other Name” Kirk seduces his captor.
In “Cogenitor” Reed shows a lady some cheese. She wasn’t impressed.
In “The Enterprise Incident” a Romulan commander really likes Spock. Spock was just leading her on to gain a strategic advantage over the Romulans though.
From “Ensigns of Command”:
Lady: “Do you have any feelings for me?”
Data: “I have no feelings of any kind.”
In “Booby Trap” Geordi falls in love with a hologram.
In “Meridian”, within the span of about 10 minutes Dax goes from being unsuccessfully hit on to leaving Starfleet and spending the rest of her life stuck on a planet with this guy. Also, the other plot of this episode is a somebody wanting to purchase a holodeck program of Kira because he finds her so attractive. Super creepy.
In “The Vengeance Factor” Riker falls in love with a murderer.
In “Defiant” Kira and Thomas Riker spend most of the episode hating each other, but then they kiss at the end.
In “Future’s End, Part II” Paris falls in love with Sarah Silverman.
In “Wink of an Eye” a lady falls in love with Kirk. We’re about as interested in this one as Kirk.
In “Alter Ego” Geordi uh I mean Kim falls in love with a hologram.
In “The Q and the Grey” Q tries to convince Janeway to have a child with him.
In “Requiem for Methuselah” Kirk falls in love with Leonardo da Vinci’s robot girlfriend
And then of course there was “Hollow Pursuits” where Barclay is in love with a hologram version of Troi, that he created. That’s not creepy at all